Ever have those weird moments in your otherwise dull life, that play-out in such a way that you could swear you had scene (pun intended) it in a movie?...sure you have. We all have them. Sometimes we are thrown into scenarios that contain elements that line up so perfectly that it's hard to believe it wasn't scripted beforehand. The only thing that seems to be missing is a quirky soundtrack playing in the background. What's worse, these situations always seem to occur during the holiday season, ESPECIALLY at Christmas. This holiday that brags about bringing feelings of joy to everyone alive, actually tends to make people so anal retentive and stressed, that it's just begging for something to go wrong. This pretty much the premise for all holiday-comedy movies, and though they may be cute on screen, sometimes we can relate a little too easily. And no other movie strikes our holiday reality cords more than A Christmas Story. We all were kids once and many people have the same families. Here are three things from ACS that if you at any point have experienced, you're going to know damn well you're in a movie.
Where's My Red Rider?
What kid hasn't wanted a toy that their mother had forbidden because they deemed it too dangerous? On top of that, what kid didn't have that mom that believed that these toys were responsible for absurd injuries and gave them ridiculous excuses to not let you get it? And how many of us had that dad that ignored what mom said and let you get the toy anyways? Now here's the cherry on top...HOW MANY OF US HAD MOTHERS THAT ALWAYS SAID YOU WOULD LOSE AN EYE BY PLAYING WITH DANGEROUS TOYS?!! And why was it always the eyes? Were they ever concerned about head injuries, accidental ingestion of toxic substances that were used to make the toy, or highly flammable materials from the toy?...nope. Just the eyes. For some reason, moms seem to think there's a conspiracy among toy manufacturers, and they are all out to blind your children. If you answered yes to at least three of these questions, consider your life staged.
Bullying has awful consequences and most of us have experienced it at least once, more than likely you were a kid at the time, and the big kids were always scary. 99.99% of us simply endured the torture and waited for it to go away, but how many of us had the nerve to turn around and actually beat the living crap out of a kid that was twice our size. Sure, you probably wish you had, but you probably didn't. But if you did happen to be one of those rare 10 year olds with gonads made of steel, you're starring in your very own Christmas Story remake, because that level of bravery is the stuff cinemas are made of.
Finally, the grand-daddy, Mt. Everest of holiday pickles that puts you smack dab in the middle of film is a ruined turkey dinner. Things go wrong with cooking (hopefully it didn't involve a fire and nobody got hurt). Failed Christmas dinners aren't that remarkable...BUT, if you are from a family that can't fathom the idea of Christmas without eating an avian creature of some kind and the holiday just feels wrong and incomplete without it, your beginning to skate on thin ice. So if at any point you end up at up a Chinese restaurant and end up resorting to having duck for Christmas dinner, where you're being serenaded with butchered Christmas carols sung by waiters who's first language obviously isn't English, just change your name to Ralphie.